Danyul's blog

My future baby daddy =)

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I haven't flushed all of my ideas out yet and no there aren't any articles to back this up.  I'm just getting started.

A lot of what I'm hearing about Obama is - in my opinion - crap.  When I see him, I see a man with his head in the clouds.  We don't need that.  We've lived for eight years of a president with his head in the clouds who has simultaneously learned on the job.  Obama would do the same thing, except you'll see Democrat under his name on the TV.  No, Hillary Clinton isn't the perfect candidate, but none of them are.  No one running for president this time has the means necessary for affecting change in this country.  And why?  They're all insiders.  They all know how to play the game that is American politics.  None of them care about the people and I say that because if they did they wouldn't be putting so much god damned money behind this thing. 

However, Hillary Clinton has lived front row to a presidency that affected some change in this country.  She got involved, she got her feet wet and she turned around to turn that change into working for the people as a Senator in New York.  She has the insider knowledge which could work to her advantage, picking up on her husband's connections.  There's nothing wrong with that.  Obama would pick up on similar Democratic connections, too.  And anyone who thinks otherwise is fooling them self.  Hillary doesn't have a fancy 64 page PDF outlining her vision for change in America (it could take a moment to load, just warning you).  No, she doesn't embody what Kennedy embodied to so many in his day - a young person who can change the world.  But we don't need all of that right now.  We need someone who can hit the ground running and fix this ailing economy (as much as I'm opposed to the government stepping in right now).  Clinton has the most amount of experience affecting change between the democratic candidates running today.  This is experience America needs right now.  Her head is not in the clouds, her feet are on the ground and she understands that it's not about her "belief" that she can make change that she rests on for her candidacy.

Having to deal with a roommate is challenging.  I hate it.  I can officially say "just a few more months" and I won't have to worry about it anymore.

I've been thinking about it for a while; been having secret conversations with myself (lol) and discussing it a lot with my sister and her husband.  They've jokingly suggested it, but I've decided I am going to move to Arizona.  There are several things that lead to my decision, not withstanding how much I loathe my younger sister at the moment.  But in essence it has come down to a matter of timing.  The other major factor is that I have nothing holding me back in California anymore.  So, the change may be good for me.

1. My review is coming up and it will be an opportune time to tell my boss I'm leaving.  It will also give them time to prepare for finding a replacement which I know they won't do.  I like to think I'm important and my role is significant enough to find a replacement, but they'll just transfer my responsibilities to someone in NY.
2. School is getting to the point where I will be able to transfer somewhere since I'll be at my "sophomore" year point.  ASU offers an undergrad pre-law program and the Sandra Day O'Connor School of Law.
3. The housing market in Phoenix is just about what it is here in the Bay Area - great for buyers.  Buying a house here in the Bay Area and not living pay check-to-pay check is impossible unless you've got loads of cash or two separate sources of income contributing to the mortgage.  Even then, you're probably struggling.  I refuse to make myself, or let myself - which ever the case may be - live that way.  I've lived a very comfortable lifestyle up until this point and having to change that seems awkward and scary.  I'm single, I'm young and dammit I'm not going to let go of some of the things that really make me happy.
4. Lastly, the job market for my field is less robust there than it is here.  There's not a strong IP world in Arizona.  There are law firms I can work at.  Hell, with the price of my house being one third of what the same size would be here, I'll be able to afford working only part time and going to school more (even though I've been gradually increasing my school load over time and I'm now going full time in addition to working full time).  But if I really need a job there's always Walgreens!

I've sort of talked about this idea to a few people who have had but one thing to say to me, "But what about the heat!?"  And yes, I know it gets hot.  And no I've never been there during actual summer, but you adjust and change to those types of things.  I like to think I'm getting a jump on what the rest of you will have to deal with in 10 or 20 or 30 years as the planet's temperature starts to rise and those of you who stay here remain comfortable and then one day the higher temperature shocks you.  The weather doesn't bother me.  People adapt and change to climate conditions.  My sister and her family did it, so I can do it, too.

Another thing people have thrown at me is this idea that the Bay Area has so much to offer and I'd really be missing out on that.  And I agree that the SF Bay Area has many things to offer.  You've got SF, Napa, Monterey, Santa Cruz and all sorts of other wonderful things to do here.  However great these places are what good are they if you don't have the money to enjoy them?

Ahhh, the wonders of a analyitcal mind. : )

So for my birthday this year I'm flying to Phoenix and we're going to look at the two newer developments that have been built near the area where my sister and her family live.  If there's time we'll drive to ASU and check out the campus even though I'm planning an "official" tour later in the year.

Last night I went to my first cooking class of the year.  I'm planning to make this a monthly event.  There are classes in between the month, like a knife skills class for example, but for the most part the actual meal prep classes are once a month.  It was without a doubt one of the most enjoyable things I've done in recent memory.  Most of the enjoyment came from the other four people who were there taking the class.  

The group of people included M, a kindergarden teacher.  Her "everyone has to have a chance" attitude came through quite strong from the get-go.  When I asked if she taught in public education she didn't really answer me, but her friend S told me yes.  M also had a real knack for doubting everything I said.  For example, in the second dish we made a pasta with shrimp dish and the instructor said "Why didn't I add oil to the boiling water?"  So I said, "Because you don't need to.  The oil could coat the pasta and prevent it from letting the sauce stick to it."  Admittedly I didn't know this until the night before when I watched Monday's Martha Stewart show (The Chef Pasta Show) and she had a bunch of different chefs prepare pasta dishes.  Lidia Bastianich was the one who pointed this out.  Well, M doubted me and Malcom, the instructor, sort of backed her up.  He just said that adding oil to the water wasn't necessary and any talk of oil sticking to the pasta is "rubbish" since obviously oil and water separate when put together.

M's boyfriend B was there.  I think he was high, or slightly retarded.  He did however add much enjoyment to the class with his wit and sarcastic side bars.  The kissy kissy shit between M and B was making me nauseas.

Then there was R, a quiet man.  As his wife described him a "Bible thumper."  I steered clear of R.  And then there is R's wife, S.  She was fantastic!  Two minutes into the class she leans over and asks if I want to be set up with her manny.  I had no idea what she was talking about.  I guess I really do live in my own fantasy world whereby people can't tell I'm gay but in reality it's like a neon hotel sign over my head.  So I was a little confused and taken aback.  She went on to describe him "Oh you'll love him!  He's 19.  He's blonde and blue.  And he's great with kids.  OH!! And he's out to his mother."  I felt as if she was sent from the heavens above! I've always wanted someone to set me up with a friend and as she put it "I'm a Yenta! I've set up four couples who have all married."  Anyway, I politely declined a meet with Drew since he's way way wayyyyyy below my age range.  Ew, I have a nephew his age!  I did say, "When your Filipino friend's Japanese husband decides its time to explore his sessuality, call me."  Yes, I said "Sessuality."  She loved it and hugged me.

Finally there's Malcom the instructor.  He's British, from Essex.  He spent time in France not Paris (emphasis added) where he studied and did "things."  Now he does this instructor gig as well as some catering on the side.  He's also an instructor "At the school in San Francisco." We all wondered if it was the well known culinary school, but no it's "The other one."  Whatever that means.

So on the menu was a Chinese chicken salad, the aforementioned penne pasta with shrimp and a tomato, white bean rague.  We finished it off with a hearty beef steak sandwhich with cheese, onions and red bell peppers.  The hardest part of the last dish was the garlic aoli we made.  We had to make it twice since M (who volunteered to make the aoli beacuse "oh I've done it before") and B fucked it up.  It was a great time and I can't wait for the next class which is going to be Global Stir Fry dishes.

My sister took off for Hearst Castle, I assume with the BF.  She'll be home "sometime Wednesday" the note on the table said.  With the house to myself for at least two nights in a row what did I do?  That's right, I read my textbooks.  Woo hoo!  After all the bitching and complaining I've done about her and her BF being there way too much I read.  So is the life of me, I suppose.  I was just too exhausted after class last night to think of anything fun to do aside from my usual unloading the dishwasher, loading the dishwasher, making dinner and everything else. 

So it's really foggy today.  Riley is confused by the fog.  I can see it in his face, "Is this rain, is this clouds, can I bite it, can I eat it?"  So, he tries to bite it.  I tried to capture it on video but it didn't come out.  It was the cutest thing I've ever seen!

And this is from my other journal/s yesterday:

So it's back to work today. Weekend wasn't anything unusual. My first week of school wrapped up with intellectual property law on Saturday. I had all sorts of sarcastic remarks to make about it, but they will just have to wait for another time. I managed to venture out and see Daniel. He showed me how he jailbreaked/jailbroke his iPhone. He showed me all of the thrid party apps he put on it. He showed me just how cool it realy can be to own an iPhone. We had dinner. We talked. Just like the old days. And true to form, he pissed me off in ways only he can, because after all talking to him is like talking to myself - an older, wiser version of me.

[Some history about Daniel: he and I dated for the better part of a year about three years ago.  We have known each other for ... I don't know, in the neighborhood of 6 years maybe?  Our relationship ended when my father became very ill and I decided his selfishness wasn't going to take priority over my family.  He's the one single guy I've managed to remain friends with after a break-up.  He and I share the same birth date, he is a few years older than me.] 

OK, back to the story...  The me I tend to push aside and ignore. It's nice to know there's someone out there who worries for my mental safety/health. It was time I had my STD, HIV test and knowing Daniel allows me to do it without waiting in line on a given Sunday a the free clinic (where we used to volunteer together); in confidence; and with the assurance that he knows what he's doing. I can talk about sexual health issues with him without feeling alienated or like someone's passing judgement on me. My last partner and I were not safe and given the fact that said guy's ex slept with a lot of people that means, basically, that I did too! It's a great feeling, trust me. Really. So while I don't expect any bad news, you know never know. Let the 7 day waiting anxiety commence!

I guess I'm just really depressed right now. About everything -- my crappy job, my crappy social life, my crappy school life. Ah well that last one is a lie. I enjoy school. This weekend was a scary realization. I started to crunch numbers and look at the financial side of owning a home. What conclusion I came to is that owning a home won't be possible for me, at least not any time in the next 5-7 years. My credit is shot. My income is too low. And even though I will have money to throw at a down payment, if I did that I'd be seriously living pay check-to-pay check which is what I refuse to do. But, what's the alternative? Well there are two. The first of which is to get an apartment. Well, getting an apartment means living pay check-to-pay check as well because rents are just as high, if not higher for renting. The other disadvantage to this is especially painful because it means I have to find a new owner for Riley. Just thinking this brings me to tears. The second alternative is getting a roommate and I'll get to that in a minute.

I've been more seriously considering selling my car even though at most I'd get about $5,000 back either by trading it in or selling it to a private party and then buying something more economical. I love my Lexus, but it's just not practicle enough to own anymore. The gas mileage is terrible. Paying upwards of $60 a week to fill up is taking it's toll on my wallet. The alternative cars don't make me happy. Trading it in for a Prius doesn't save me much money in the short term. I wouldn't be paying as much as I do now for gas, so perhaps this entire idea needs to be better realized under better thinking conditions.

I just refuse to be one of those people who works just to "make ends meet." I have no one to blame but myself. Had I been more serious and gone to college in the first place, I wouldn't be in this situation right now. I look at people around me and think "How do they do it?" And the only thing I can come up with is not that they're college graduates, it's not that they're established, it's not that even if they aren't college graduates they have really good jobs. It's that they have someone else to help with the mortgage, or rent (either spouse, bf/gf, or parent). I refuse to have a roommate, like I've said a zillion times. If the last two years has taught me anything it's not only that women are a pain to live with (sorry, I know that's a huge generalization and a terrible thought to leave you with), but I'm just not cut out to have a roommate. Unless it's a dog, but we've already covered that.

The seventh season of "American Idol" premieres tonight.  Will you be watching, or are you over it?

Of course!!!  I wouldn't miss it.  And besides, there's nothing else on TV these days.  Even the re-runs of Law & Order, Law & Order: SVU and Law & Order: Criminal Intent are starting to bore the hell out of me.

There are some scary dudes in my Thursday night class.  Including the instructor who's a retired SJPD cop.  And let me not forget to mention the guy who just moved here from Denver, Colorado sporting his bright white Reebok tennis shoes, and Denver Broncos gear head to toe and a nice cologne of tabacco.  Hot! 

Anyway, the students are guys who want to be cops some day.  While I'm totally confidant these particular people will never EVER pass a psych evaluation before gaining entry to the force, I have to say I'm not sure how comfortable I am with the idea of a community college education being the minimum threshold for one to carry around a 9 MM.  I was told that the process for getting on the force, at least in SJPD, is now a lot easier than it used to be so maybe this doesn't bode well for the community.  The class is going to be painful since it's taught from a cop's perspective and I'm one of maybe two paralegal majors.  Why I'm being required to take this class is beyond me, but I guess they don't have the money to create a class geared towards legal professionals so they lump us all together. 

If I had to hear "there is a lot of material to cram into one night a week compared to my other class that is four days a week, so I have to keep you until 10 every week" one more time I was going to walk out.  I guess it's just a cop's nature to blame someone else.  Sure, right, it is my fault I have to take a night class.

Some police nuggets.  Did you know that in SJPD the standard weapon is a 9 MM, but any officer who qualifies for and registers it can carry a .45?  Or any other gun of their choice, but not "bazookas" or grenades?  Scary.  And did you also know SJPD trains it's force for "shoot to kill"?  That means officers don't shoot to get a weapon out of perp's hand, they shoot him in the chest (i.e., heart) to end the danger.  Maybe I was the last person to know this, but it's kind of scary to think about.  So, if you're thinking of teasing a police officer while holding a gun, I suggest you not.  And I'm not saying that as a future lawyer, I'm saying that as a concerned citizen.  Then I look around the class and observe the caliber (ha, no pun intended!) of men wanting to become law enforcement officials and I think to myself, "Wha??"

Oh well, I will just keep my eye on the prize; sit there and take notes; and bite the bullet... No pun intended.  At least I hope not.

As if this day couldn't be any worse, I have this story to tell.  I'm walking Riley this afternoon (my joy for this activity is wholly renewed after purchasing his Ezydog handle, like whoa!) and we're on our usual route towards the park.  Ahead I see 4 young boys loitering in the street.  I start to cross the street to keep Riley and the immenent excitement that will ensue at bay when all of a sudden one of the boys yells "Oh my God like you are soooo gay!"  And then I hear a bunch of giggling.  My initial reaction, sadly, was that I got nervous.  Was I suddenly just transported back to high school?  Was this the 300 Hall on my way to Miss Bliss's science class in freshman year?  Oh no, I'm 26 years old in present day 2008 and I just got verbally gay bashed.  Well, I couldn't pass up this opportunity. So I cross back over the street and approach the boys.

"I'm sorry, were you talking to me?" I asked.

"Yes! Like oh my God you are sooooooo gay!"  The giggling repeats.

"You're right!  I am gay!," I exclaimed.

"And do you know what that's called?" I asked.

*blank stare*

"When one gay guy can tell another guy is gay that's called gay-dar" I explained.

He proceeds to freak out yelling "HELL NO DUDE I AIN'T NO FAG! THAT'S GROSS!"

Feeling accomplished, I walk away.

This is one of the many stories in the letters written by my father to his family during his tour of duty in Vietnam.  I don't know the exact date it was written or mailed.

A Change of Clothes

When in the “bush” (jungle) we relied on choppers (helicopters) for everything.  They brought supplies – food, water, ammo, clothes, almost everything we needed and the occasional, oft sought after piece of mail.  The usual method was to drop supplies on one trip and then come back and pick up what needed to go back – old clothes, empty water containers and the like.

The usual scenario was to spend 3 to 4 weeks out, running patrols, setting ambushes, clearing “LZs” (landing zones) or whatever else they could think up.  During the time out, on patrol, you carried everything you had in your “ruck” (rucksack).  So since you were your own pack mule, you would only carry the barest of essentials.  Ammo, food – hand picked “C-Rations”, water, an extra pair of socks (we really knew how to live), luxuries, as such were limited to maybe writing material and the occasional paperback.  We carried so much stuff we needed help getting to our feet and often let out a “grunting sound” when getting on our feet – hence the nickname for the infantryman GRUNT.  A change of clothes was out of the question, besides “green machine” would take care of that – yeah.

I remember we were out for almost 4 weeks on this one patrol.  So we were all a little “gamey” to say the least.  Fortunately when you all have the same aroma you don’t seem to notice.  Well our patrol got extended; we were to be re-supplied – including a change of clothes – and then had to move out in a hurry.  The CO said due to the time constraint, we would only have the drop off there would not be a second trip for pickup.  So he decided we should take off our jungle fatigues, gather them up, so when the supply bird arrived we could just throw them in.

Now let me tell you a little about helicopters, basically they are a giant fang attached to an elongated body.  When they land and take off they have this tendency to force any loose material on the ground up into the air.  Dirt, rocks and twigs all become little high velocity projectiles, which can cause great pain when stopped by the human body.

So there we were, the best-equipped force in the world wearing helmet, boots, weapons and nothing else ready for battle.  All of us had “farmer tans” you know the ones with the face and lower arms a nice brown while the rest of the body was completely white.  Oh what a site.  So off we went to meet the chopper au natural.  Talk about “exposing your position.”

While making his approach the helicopter pilot would request a smoke grenade to be set off.  He would then identify the color and if it was the correct color he would land.  This was to prevent the enemy from setting off a false single and have the chopper come into an ambush.

“Bird in bound, pop smoke” was the phrased used to set this process in motion.

Smoke out and the pilot says “I identify green smoke” that’s us come on in.

Now imagine what they saw from the air.  A bunch of “soldiers”, naked soldiers running around with only helmets, boots and weapons.  I was to the front and a little off to the right.  I will never forget the drop jaw dumbfounded expression on the pilot and co-pilot.  The door gunner on my side was laughing so hard, if [he] didn’t have his safety harness on he would have fallen out.

Meanwhile there is always one man, on the ground that guides the chopper in.  Well remember that “fan thing.”  Here he is in front of the chopping giving us signals as it approaches the ground.  Now he is being hit by the kicked up debris pretty good.  To protect certain areas of his body, he took the pose of a flamingo, kind of perched on one leg with the other kind of wrapped around the front.  Holding his rifle in the other hand trying to protect his eyes while guiding the chopper in.  Trying to accomplish this was a remarkable feat and quite a hilarious site.

The chopper touched down and we ran out to get the supplies.  The pilot and co-pilot never did lose that expression.  The door gunner is busting a gut and crewman inside off loading the supplies is kind of in shock.  We get the water, “C-Rats”, ammo, the mail pouch but don’t see any clothes.  Over the engine noise I yell “What about the clothes?”  The crewman yells “They didn’t make it.”  Oh wonderful.

We carry the supplies back to the platoon, including the old clothes that have been bundled up sitting in the hot sun, getting ever so “riper.”  Everyone gets busy breaking down and passing out the supplies.  They all have the same question, “Where are the clothes?” “They didn’t make it” was the reply.  Now what to do you can’t fight a war or rather “conflict” naked now, can you?  Somehow that doesn’t seem civilized.

So being a highly trained leader, the CO makes a command decision.  He says just grab some pants, socks and shirt and put them on.  Just grab anything and put it on we have to move out in a hurry.

So we did get a change of clothes, I was wearing Lapps; Duck was wearing Bimbos; Short was wearing Wildmans and so on.  Onward and upward and off to the next objective, I hope no one has anything that is catching.  Hey who had the cooties?

I received this suspicious IM this morning from the screen name IanFrom7Chan on AIM.  Subsequently I've amended my Vox profile to no longer show my IM screen name.  I highly suspect this is where they got it from seeing how it was the only place I publicly list such information about myself.  I urge anyone who receives a message like this to do what you can do prevent it as spam.  I clicked the link, it took me to a non-functional website, but for all I know it could be functioning quite well on their end (read: taking information off my computer? Who knows..).  What's odd is that I have no friends only posts on Vox, and this is the only site is use the handle "imdanyl".  Uhm, actually I take that back.  That's not even my handle on here.  So, where oh where did they get this?  Hm...  Anyway now I'm not so sure it came from here.  But I have gotten a few suspicious readers and comments here recently, wonder if they're all connected some how?  I'd hate to go private for fear of some punk who's got far too much time on his hands.

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And this is the site it took me to:

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